What is truth and lie. What is right and wrong. What is valued and useless.
I am intentionally not putting question marks after these sentences because there is none actually.
These are not questions. These are how we perceive a event, a conversation, a philosophical idea or an opinion in our life. It works mostly in autopilot mode. It's so reflexive that it became life and we have name for it such as 'discipline', 'pride' and 'morality'.
We become police of our own thoughts. 'Nothing is wrong' is a right statement or wrong statement. See again, the mind is divided of the division we encounter in life. There is this conundrum that is beyound significance. Or is there some significance, I am still to uncover!
Is there anything beyound the usual, routine and obvious? Which is out of chaous, conflict, unexplored, unexpected ? Things has to be done because it's obvious. That's why when someone ask me," why have you done engineering, I just feel nothing other than answering 'it was obvious thing to do at that point of time'.
Now when I look back and breathe upon my past.
I try to think beyound the obvious. It does not mean, I am fixated towards the chaous. But I want to see both. I want reach out to both aspect. I want to understand both the ways leading to where!
My decision is not influenced by the fear of unexpected turn of events. It is neither affected by the comfort of the obvious, much travelled road.
It is about my own willingness to try, about figuring out my inner desire and interest, which I feel was never nurtured to the extent. My choices were heavily influenced and shaped by societal belief, intellectual and economic poverty.
What happened in past few years.
You think and then you read and then you read history and it inspire you to also read philosphy and then you see your surroundings and find its very different than what philosphy is all about. It is happening in micro level everyday and it's unrecognizable. You level up and take up sociology. Ahh! What the hell, this feels so real, so painful and cathartic, going through movement, atrocities build a intersectional lens, which gives touge to history and enlighten philosphy at the same time.You meet the reality.
Now if you take literature, it's like opening your all senses at once. It's like eating a whole chilly. It creates sensory goosebumps at every pages you turn and it doesn't let you skip the thing that you could have ignored earlier. It bothers you at different level. It could beep your shouts and uproar your silence.
I have heard myself saying and hear as well, all the time, these belief and narrative are temporal, contextual and cultural. Now I see more of it in my everyday life. It become so overwhelming in a moment and so mundane in the next. I am torned, angry, at ease, all at the same time. Unbelievable!
I completed a journey of a circle without reaching anywhere. I was born, I was told, I listened, I escaped, I created my own world, I entered into different worlds, and I end up being in the one, I was born into. Unbelievable!
People can change the 'world inside' without reaching anywhere.
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